Terrifying Leap

I need to make an insanely drastic change in my life (well, insanely drastic to me, anyway), and I'm terrified of failure... especially because in this endeavor, failure is not an option.

I was raised that "people just don't do that," where that is anything the least bit unconventional, risky, or unusual. I was raised to believe, for instance, that any job is a good job simply by virtue of being a job. (In this economy, there is something to be said for that, but not in the overall sense.) You also don't call boys, talk loudly, sit with your knees apart, drive if your man is in the car, drop an f bomb, or "jazz up hymns."* I have done unconventional things by my mother's standards -- all of the above minus the hymns (she totally deflated me on that one), had online boyfriends before it was common, met my ex-husband online ditto, for instance, plus a bunch of unbloggables. ;-)

But things that involve me, just me, all on my own -- scary. I have no one to guide me here, either, and no money to pay a professional to do so. If I could have five hours with a life coach -- that would be stupendous. Not happening.

But I need to find a way. Somehow. And get past the "people just don't do that" issue, finally. Or else I will end up having spent forty years of my life miserable, and for what?

*Amazingly, it seems my Baptist mother had never heard of gospel music.