are really lucky I'm introverted and afraid of the law, because otherwise they'd be pretty unhappy with my reaction after they started REMOVING A GARAGE ROOF AT 8:30 THIS MORNING. Under my bedroom windows. It's 2:30 and they haven't stopped. I've escaped twice with a book -- went to the PO and then got some lunch and ate it in the car by the Bay, then went to Starbucks and read again. They had better finish soon or my head may self-remove. I'll make sure I go outside first and stand in their driveway so it's their mess, though.
Actually I guess they're not necessarily so lucky since I sent an email noise complaint to the city.
I'm the kind of person who cringes when my TV is too loud and if I'm watching it with others they always pooh-pooh my turning it down. But I hate other people's noise and feel I ought not to inflict it on others. I realize if you're replacing a roof you need to make noise, but a) how about LATER IN THE DAMNED MORNING and/or b) on a weekday when most of your neighbors will be at work?
I know I'm very sensitive to noise. Like when I went to the Cathedral and the docent and the monk both bugged me by not being silent. (I imagine you can't give a tour to hearing folks by using sign language. Alas.) I wish one could close one's ears like one can close one's eyes.
Finished a baby hat last night for a coworker's granddaughter. Starting on a gift hat today. Then a commissioned scarf, and then I'm doing only selfish knitting for awhile.
Unless I'm in prison. Neighbors.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Christmas Stack
A super-sharp peeler, two seasons of Scrubs, an amaryllis, a stack o'books (and two more are coming), extra standalone burner and copper jam pan, and the two bags my friend made me.
Just had tea and muffins with another friend, and am about to settle down with one of the DVDs and the baby hat I need to finish ASAP. And three more days off after this.
A lovely respite!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Wow
So, among other wonderful Christmas gifts, my nephews got me this. I can't wait to make a batch of jam in it.
Many fun books to peruse, a couple of seasons of Scrubs, an extra standalone burner also for jam-making, some new kitchen cupboard pulls to replace the ones I dislike, a handmade yoga mat bag (and a small bag, made by the same person, that's going to become my lunch tote), and other cool things. More details and pix tomorrow -- which is going to be a day of snoozing, reading, TV, brunch-making, kitty-cuddling, knitting, and general decadence. And better light for pictures, I hope, although it's raining.
My knitted items went over well.
Middle sister's cowl.
Oldest sister's scarf.
The scarf's stitch pattern.
I loved making this especially because each row was the same, so I could watch TV and not look at any pattern. The cowl was fairly simple, too, although the increase round was hard on my hands -- knitting into the stitch below was physically difficult for me. Thankfully it only happens three times in this pattern. I made another one in red for a friend of mine, so I managed to soldier through the round six whole times. LOL.
And now to bed with some of my books!
Many fun books to peruse, a couple of seasons of Scrubs, an extra standalone burner also for jam-making, some new kitchen cupboard pulls to replace the ones I dislike, a handmade yoga mat bag (and a small bag, made by the same person, that's going to become my lunch tote), and other cool things. More details and pix tomorrow -- which is going to be a day of snoozing, reading, TV, brunch-making, kitty-cuddling, knitting, and general decadence. And better light for pictures, I hope, although it's raining.
My knitted items went over well.
Middle sister's cowl.
Oldest sister's scarf.
The scarf's stitch pattern.
I loved making this especially because each row was the same, so I could watch TV and not look at any pattern. The cowl was fairly simple, too, although the increase round was hard on my hands -- knitting into the stitch below was physically difficult for me. Thankfully it only happens three times in this pattern. I made another one in red for a friend of mine, so I managed to soldier through the round six whole times. LOL.
And now to bed with some of my books!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Cry of Desperation
It's cold (by our standards). I am a hot-blooded person who is rarely cold, and I. am. cold. Wrapping a big wool French-sized scarf/shawl around my nose, so cold. Wishing I had gloves, which I don't. Running the heater, which I hate doing. Off for a hot hot bath in a minute.
Just came back from a depressing parish council meeting. I can't even explain why it's depressing, except that I simply am not coming from the same place as most of the other members.
And something went down at work today that has me in a huge tizzy of anxiety. My workplace is the antithesis of a laid-back, easygoing, "let's just get the problem fixed and move on" kind of place. You know how a kid in a dysfunctional family might skulk around, anticipating getting smacked? That's how I feel.
I know. No one will physically harm me; they're not going to kill me. But in this economy everyone who has a job walks on eggshells.
And this economy has me rattled like it does everyone else. I've been making up bags of stuff for the Goodwill, so that if I have to put everything into storage and camp in someone's basement, I have less I need to store. My only living requirements are: my cats, some knitting, some books, and Internet access. Don't need all my books or all my yarn to be with me, or even unlimited Internet like I have now (though that'd be hard). And really, my cats are the two things from which I cannot be separated. However, let's pray it doesn't come to that.
(ETA: OK, I'd like access to a tub and not just a shower, and I have a hard time sleeping on the floor, but since I have the air mattress I've taken camping (self-inflating!) and the sleeping bag I took as well, that could work. I could bring all my pillows and build a little fort around myself.)
In any event, I'm sitting here in quiet shivery desperation at the moment. I need a miracle.
Just came back from a depressing parish council meeting. I can't even explain why it's depressing, except that I simply am not coming from the same place as most of the other members.
And something went down at work today that has me in a huge tizzy of anxiety. My workplace is the antithesis of a laid-back, easygoing, "let's just get the problem fixed and move on" kind of place. You know how a kid in a dysfunctional family might skulk around, anticipating getting smacked? That's how I feel.
I know. No one will physically harm me; they're not going to kill me. But in this economy everyone who has a job walks on eggshells.
And this economy has me rattled like it does everyone else. I've been making up bags of stuff for the Goodwill, so that if I have to put everything into storage and camp in someone's basement, I have less I need to store. My only living requirements are: my cats, some knitting, some books, and Internet access. Don't need all my books or all my yarn to be with me, or even unlimited Internet like I have now (though that'd be hard). And really, my cats are the two things from which I cannot be separated. However, let's pray it doesn't come to that.
(ETA: OK, I'd like access to a tub and not just a shower, and I have a hard time sleeping on the floor, but since I have the air mattress I've taken camping (self-inflating!) and the sleeping bag I took as well, that could work. I could bring all my pillows and build a little fort around myself.)
In any event, I'm sitting here in quiet shivery desperation at the moment. I need a miracle.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Does Anyone Else Hate Sunday Nights?
I hated them when I was a kid -- I'd get depressed and anxious as night fell, thinking about school (I love learning but until college was not a fan of the school experience in general).
I hate them as an adult -- I get depressed and anxious as... well, you get the idea.
The only time Sunday nights have not caused sharp unhappiness are when I have nowhere to be Monday morning. Which is why, although my birthday this coming year is on a Saturday, I will be taking the following Monday off. I don't work on my birthday if it's during the week and I don't want the day after my birthday to be one of depression.
It's ten. This is one of those times when I feel like a little kid whining, "I don't wanna go to bed!" I actually was asleep on Friday night by 10.30, because I knew I wasn't shortening my few remaining free hours -- I could sleep in the next day, had nothing I had to do but go to Mass at 5. But on a work night? I want to stay up as late as possible to milk every last second of freedom. Yet, as a certified Non Morning Person, staying up til midnight makes the morning even more awful.
Bah. Sunday nights.
I hate them as an adult -- I get depressed and anxious as... well, you get the idea.
The only time Sunday nights have not caused sharp unhappiness are when I have nowhere to be Monday morning. Which is why, although my birthday this coming year is on a Saturday, I will be taking the following Monday off. I don't work on my birthday if it's during the week and I don't want the day after my birthday to be one of depression.
It's ten. This is one of those times when I feel like a little kid whining, "I don't wanna go to bed!" I actually was asleep on Friday night by 10.30, because I knew I wasn't shortening my few remaining free hours -- I could sleep in the next day, had nothing I had to do but go to Mass at 5. But on a work night? I want to stay up as late as possible to milk every last second of freedom. Yet, as a certified Non Morning Person, staying up til midnight makes the morning even more awful.
Bah. Sunday nights.
Baking Rundown
All Nigella recipes, from How to be a Domestic Goddess.
Coffee & Walnut Splodge Cookies: Going to add chocolate chips next time, and cut out the salt because I always use salted butter. (I find that things are a wee bit too bland with unsalted, especially bread. And it's too much of a hassle to keep two kind on hand.)
Gingerbread: Too sweet, not gingery enough, and the lemon icing needs a much higher sugar-to-lemon-juice ratio, or it's a glaze and not icing. However, the sticky English texture is very good, and you can tell the cake base is tasty. It called for two teaspoons of fresh grated ginger; I like my ginger things very gingery so I may make that two tablespoons instead. The icing, while not thick enough, can easily be made so by tweaking the proportions, and the lemon is a lovely offset to the ginger. I will make this again, too, with adjustments.
Christmas Morning Muffins: They're cranberry/orange muffins with a cinnamon sugar topping, and they are fan-freakin'-tastic. Also, easy. I probably will make these for me on Christmas morning as suggested. (Well, more likely Christmas afternoon, since I will have been up very late the night before and we don't do anything on Christmas Day.) This required no tweaking whatsoever.
So I had a friend over for tea today and she was a guinea pig. She too likes gingery things very spicy, and she agreed on all counts on the gingerbread. It's not horrible, but it's sooooooooo sweet than even I, who can handle a sweet, think it's too much. Thankfully that's easily fixed since the hardest thing about this recipe was just grating some ginger. No biggie.
I remember reading in one of Laurie Colwin's books about her search for the perfect gingerbread. She was a fan of the damp English kind, too, apparently. I should dig that book out.
Coffee & Walnut Splodge Cookies: Going to add chocolate chips next time, and cut out the salt because I always use salted butter. (I find that things are a wee bit too bland with unsalted, especially bread. And it's too much of a hassle to keep two kind on hand.)
Gingerbread: Too sweet, not gingery enough, and the lemon icing needs a much higher sugar-to-lemon-juice ratio, or it's a glaze and not icing. However, the sticky English texture is very good, and you can tell the cake base is tasty. It called for two teaspoons of fresh grated ginger; I like my ginger things very gingery so I may make that two tablespoons instead. The icing, while not thick enough, can easily be made so by tweaking the proportions, and the lemon is a lovely offset to the ginger. I will make this again, too, with adjustments.
Christmas Morning Muffins: They're cranberry/orange muffins with a cinnamon sugar topping, and they are fan-freakin'-tastic. Also, easy. I probably will make these for me on Christmas morning as suggested. (Well, more likely Christmas afternoon, since I will have been up very late the night before and we don't do anything on Christmas Day.) This required no tweaking whatsoever.
So I had a friend over for tea today and she was a guinea pig. She too likes gingery things very spicy, and she agreed on all counts on the gingerbread. It's not horrible, but it's sooooooooo sweet than even I, who can handle a sweet, think it's too much. Thankfully that's easily fixed since the hardest thing about this recipe was just grating some ginger. No biggie.
I remember reading in one of Laurie Colwin's books about her search for the perfect gingerbread. She was a fan of the damp English kind, too, apparently. I should dig that book out.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Full Moon
But thankfully it wasn't too insane at work today -- at least the people I dealt with weren't. I did so much today, though, I'm even surprised and pleased it's all finished. Whew.
After my nightly love-fest with Rachel Maddow, I mixed up some of Nigella Lawson's Coffee and Walnut Splodge Cookies (she has such homey-evocative names). The dough is good; the first batch is baking. I am having a friend over for tea Sunday and I have to feed the parish council Monday night, so this will be a baking weekend. I'm going to make spice cookies, oatmeal cookies, and probably some kind of quick bread.
Also, I'm knitting something for my shop steward, to cheer her up and thank her for a job I could never, ever do. Since joining Ravelry, I've knitted up a storm. I know I spend time there when I could be knitting or cooking or spinning or whatever, but I've still gotten much more done in the last couple of months than in the preceding year!
Cookies calling.
ETA: The cookies are not sweet. I made them as the recipe directs, but they need at least another half cup of sugar or maybe some chocolate chips. I'll eat them myself but I wouldn't share them as is, unfortunately. (At least I thought I made them as the recipe directs. I may have another look to see if I left out something sweet!)
After my nightly love-fest with Rachel Maddow, I mixed up some of Nigella Lawson's Coffee and Walnut Splodge Cookies (she has such homey-evocative names). The dough is good; the first batch is baking. I am having a friend over for tea Sunday and I have to feed the parish council Monday night, so this will be a baking weekend. I'm going to make spice cookies, oatmeal cookies, and probably some kind of quick bread.
Also, I'm knitting something for my shop steward, to cheer her up and thank her for a job I could never, ever do. Since joining Ravelry, I've knitted up a storm. I know I spend time there when I could be knitting or cooking or spinning or whatever, but I've still gotten much more done in the last couple of months than in the preceding year!
Cookies calling.
ETA: The cookies are not sweet. I made them as the recipe directs, but they need at least another half cup of sugar or maybe some chocolate chips. I'll eat them myself but I wouldn't share them as is, unfortunately. (At least I thought I made them as the recipe directs. I may have another look to see if I left out something sweet!)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
My Idea of a Lovely Afternoon
As I finished Christmas Item #2 (all done!) I watched a five-part back-to-back series on the Wehrmacht on the History Channel.
Almost everyone in my family would be rolling their eyes at me!
I'm not sure why I'm fascinated with the European theatre of WWII. Although I had an uncle who was a Ranger in Europe, I didn't know him very well and he died when I was in high school. My father was in the Pacific theatre, which has never interested me very much, although I was disappointed when in Hawaii in 2007 that I didn't have time to visit the Arizona memorial.
The only places I have been that were directly affected by WWII are England, specifically London, and Paris. My then-husband and I stood under the Arc de Triomphe and got goosebumps thinking of how awful it must have been to see the Germans enter and walk down the Champs Elysees. (And two of those who did might have been his great-grandfathers, but that's another story!) I would very much like to do a WWII tour of the Continent. Morbid? I suppose... but it's just something I'd find fascniating.
Part of it is probably my love of history. When I visited Holyrood, I was the first one into Mary, Queen of Scots' bedroom and the last one out. I stood there staring at the panelled ceiling, thinking about how she had stood there and seen the same thing. I think I gawped all the way up and down the Royal Mile.
I'm just weird that way.
(Incidentally -- on the Royal Mile I had the best ice cream [peach] I've ever had. This was 1990 and I still remember it.)
Of course, in Scotland I also felt more at home than anywhere else in the world. I fit right in -- I've never been surrounded by so many redheads in my life. It was great. I don't know where in Scotland my maternal grandmother's family comes from (although the greater clan we belong to is the MacDonalds), but I'd like to find out sometime. Unfortunately, I'd probably go there and be another annoying Scottish-American come to romanticize her roots!
Anyway. Knitting and Nazi documentaries. I had a great day.
Almost everyone in my family would be rolling their eyes at me!
I'm not sure why I'm fascinated with the European theatre of WWII. Although I had an uncle who was a Ranger in Europe, I didn't know him very well and he died when I was in high school. My father was in the Pacific theatre, which has never interested me very much, although I was disappointed when in Hawaii in 2007 that I didn't have time to visit the Arizona memorial.
The only places I have been that were directly affected by WWII are England, specifically London, and Paris. My then-husband and I stood under the Arc de Triomphe and got goosebumps thinking of how awful it must have been to see the Germans enter and walk down the Champs Elysees. (And two of those who did might have been his great-grandfathers, but that's another story!) I would very much like to do a WWII tour of the Continent. Morbid? I suppose... but it's just something I'd find fascniating.
Part of it is probably my love of history. When I visited Holyrood, I was the first one into Mary, Queen of Scots' bedroom and the last one out. I stood there staring at the panelled ceiling, thinking about how she had stood there and seen the same thing. I think I gawped all the way up and down the Royal Mile.
I'm just weird that way.
(Incidentally -- on the Royal Mile I had the best ice cream [peach] I've ever had. This was 1990 and I still remember it.)
Of course, in Scotland I also felt more at home than anywhere else in the world. I fit right in -- I've never been surrounded by so many redheads in my life. It was great. I don't know where in Scotland my maternal grandmother's family comes from (although the greater clan we belong to is the MacDonalds), but I'd like to find out sometime. Unfortunately, I'd probably go there and be another annoying Scottish-American come to romanticize her roots!
Anyway. Knitting and Nazi documentaries. I had a great day.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Yarn Insanity!
So I got off work, did grocery shopping, then came home and took a look at some coupons I had. I've decided to get smaller amounts of luscious yarn, to make small things. I have come to learn I am not at the moment going to be knitting lace, and I will likely never knit a sweater. There is an Anne Hanson throw I want to make, but that's next year. So.
I decided to drive out to Albany and go to K2tog, for which I had a 20% off coupon. I ended up parking at the Berkeley end of Solano and walking about a mile downhill. And then of course a mile uphill back. I got 4 skeins of Panda Silk DK in Berry Smoothie, 2 skeins of Frog Tree Alpaca Chunky in a blue multi-tone, and 2 skeins Misti Cotton (83% cotton, 17% silk) in a soft green (#7 on that page).
Then I went to Article Pract because I was looking for chunkier pink-toned yarn, and I found some stuff in the sale bin: 3 skeins of Manos silk blend in Magenta, 3 skeins of Araucania Limari in Purples, another 320-yard skein of Fiesta Boomerang (I have one skein for a commissioned scarf) in Moulin Rouge, and then 2 skeins of something not-pink, but which I have been hankering after (no pun intended) forever. The skeins are normally $51 at Article Pract, but these were on sale for $23: Curious Creek Oban in Glacier Lakes. (They probably had six or so skeins at this price, but even I'm not that crazy.) Funnily -- I have the same colorway in unspun form as well. I saw a brick of it as Stitches in 2006 and would have given my right arm for it. Lurve this colorway. (I have spun a bit of it, but I still have quite a bit left. I know...)
I'll take a picture of the haul at some point this weekend. The colors are glorious!
I also bought a little Christmas tree/bush thing at Trader Joe's. It has big cute marbley lights on it too, and hopefully it will live on my deck after the holidays and maybe I can use it again next year. I last had a tree of any sort in 1997. It's just sitting on my stepstool, but the packages I arranged around it hide the grey plastic. Once it's properly dark I'll take a picture of that as well.
And now I'm home, making coffee and planning to knit while watching my usual Scrubs re-runs followed by Rachel Maddow. I love her -- she's even from a couple of cities over. I love watching someone pontificate who shares most of my views, and who lights up like a real Christmas tree when she smiles or laughs. And I am always in awe of Rhodes Scholars. So, that's my evening, in a nutshell. It's good.
ETA: Here's the loot. It's a pretty good picture, I think, though I may try again in daylight.
I decided to drive out to Albany and go to K2tog, for which I had a 20% off coupon. I ended up parking at the Berkeley end of Solano and walking about a mile downhill. And then of course a mile uphill back. I got 4 skeins of Panda Silk DK in Berry Smoothie, 2 skeins of Frog Tree Alpaca Chunky in a blue multi-tone, and 2 skeins Misti Cotton (83% cotton, 17% silk) in a soft green (#7 on that page).
Then I went to Article Pract because I was looking for chunkier pink-toned yarn, and I found some stuff in the sale bin: 3 skeins of Manos silk blend in Magenta, 3 skeins of Araucania Limari in Purples, another 320-yard skein of Fiesta Boomerang (I have one skein for a commissioned scarf) in Moulin Rouge, and then 2 skeins of something not-pink, but which I have been hankering after (no pun intended) forever. The skeins are normally $51 at Article Pract, but these were on sale for $23: Curious Creek Oban in Glacier Lakes. (They probably had six or so skeins at this price, but even I'm not that crazy.) Funnily -- I have the same colorway in unspun form as well. I saw a brick of it as Stitches in 2006 and would have given my right arm for it. Lurve this colorway. (I have spun a bit of it, but I still have quite a bit left. I know...)
I'll take a picture of the haul at some point this weekend. The colors are glorious!
I also bought a little Christmas tree/bush thing at Trader Joe's. It has big cute marbley lights on it too, and hopefully it will live on my deck after the holidays and maybe I can use it again next year. I last had a tree of any sort in 1997. It's just sitting on my stepstool, but the packages I arranged around it hide the grey plastic. Once it's properly dark I'll take a picture of that as well.
And now I'm home, making coffee and planning to knit while watching my usual Scrubs re-runs followed by Rachel Maddow. I love her -- she's even from a couple of cities over. I love watching someone pontificate who shares most of my views, and who lights up like a real Christmas tree when she smiles or laughs. And I am always in awe of Rhodes Scholars. So, that's my evening, in a nutshell. It's good.
ETA: Here's the loot. It's a pretty good picture, I think, though I may try again in daylight.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
On the one hand... on the other hand...
Good hand:
The last few days I have felt needed and even respected at work.
Bad hand:
The former friend who got the apology for whatever mysterious thing I did? Well, we had an interaction today. That is, I needed this person to do something for me and they did, but in total silence, even when I thanked them. I retreated and burst into tears. And I still have no fucking idea what I did, except that it must have been so heinous that my apology could not be accepted and civility is impossible. You'd think I'd remember having done something like that.
Good hand:
The car is washed and I have new pillows!
Bad hand:
No closer to figuring out how to orchestrate new life direction.
Good hand:
I finished a bobbin of pretty fine (as in thin) spinning; am leaving early tomorrow and hitting the yarn shop to procure yarn to do another version of the Thing I just finished, in a different color; tomorrow's payday. The leaving early bit means I can do grocery and yarn shopping and still be home way earlier, to have a relaxing yarn-filled evening.
Bad Hand:
I've had a stitch in my side for a few days now, and it keeps me awake. :-P
On the whole I'm more cheerful than I've been. And a half-day payday Friday is nothing to sneeze at!
The last few days I have felt needed and even respected at work.
Bad hand:
The former friend who got the apology for whatever mysterious thing I did? Well, we had an interaction today. That is, I needed this person to do something for me and they did, but in total silence, even when I thanked them. I retreated and burst into tears. And I still have no fucking idea what I did, except that it must have been so heinous that my apology could not be accepted and civility is impossible. You'd think I'd remember having done something like that.
Good hand:
The car is washed and I have new pillows!
Bad hand:
No closer to figuring out how to orchestrate new life direction.
Good hand:
I finished a bobbin of pretty fine (as in thin) spinning; am leaving early tomorrow and hitting the yarn shop to procure yarn to do another version of the Thing I just finished, in a different color; tomorrow's payday. The leaving early bit means I can do grocery and yarn shopping and still be home way earlier, to have a relaxing yarn-filled evening.
Bad Hand:
I've had a stitch in my side for a few days now, and it keeps me awake. :-P
On the whole I'm more cheerful than I've been. And a half-day payday Friday is nothing to sneeze at!
Monday, December 1, 2008
Terrifying Leap
I need to make an insanely drastic change in my life (well, insanely drastic to me, anyway), and I'm terrified of failure... especially because in this endeavor, failure is not an option.
I was raised that "people just don't do that," where that is anything the least bit unconventional, risky, or unusual. I was raised to believe, for instance, that any job is a good job simply by virtue of being a job. (In this economy, there is something to be said for that, but not in the overall sense.) You also don't call boys, talk loudly, sit with your knees apart, drive if your man is in the car, drop an f bomb, or "jazz up hymns."* I have done unconventional things by my mother's standards -- all of the above minus the hymns (she totally deflated me on that one), had online boyfriends before it was common, met my ex-husband online ditto, for instance, plus a bunch of unbloggables. ;-)
But things that involve me, just me, all on my own -- scary. I have no one to guide me here, either, and no money to pay a professional to do so. If I could have five hours with a life coach -- that would be stupendous. Not happening.
But I need to find a way. Somehow. And get past the "people just don't do that" issue, finally. Or else I will end up having spent forty years of my life miserable, and for what?
*Amazingly, it seems my Baptist mother had never heard of gospel music.
I was raised that "people just don't do that," where that is anything the least bit unconventional, risky, or unusual. I was raised to believe, for instance, that any job is a good job simply by virtue of being a job. (In this economy, there is something to be said for that, but not in the overall sense.) You also don't call boys, talk loudly, sit with your knees apart, drive if your man is in the car, drop an f bomb, or "jazz up hymns."* I have done unconventional things by my mother's standards -- all of the above minus the hymns (she totally deflated me on that one), had online boyfriends before it was common, met my ex-husband online ditto, for instance, plus a bunch of unbloggables. ;-)
But things that involve me, just me, all on my own -- scary. I have no one to guide me here, either, and no money to pay a professional to do so. If I could have five hours with a life coach -- that would be stupendous. Not happening.
But I need to find a way. Somehow. And get past the "people just don't do that" issue, finally. Or else I will end up having spent forty years of my life miserable, and for what?
*Amazingly, it seems my Baptist mother had never heard of gospel music.
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