Downward

Oh, to be a person without wild mood swings.

The upswings are fine. They make being friendly and sociable much easier. The downswings are not fine. I manage to hide them now. I get up and go to work and 99.99% of the time, I don't leave early. I do my grocery shopping. I talk to people. I do not, usually, burst into tears although sometimes I will get teary-eyed.

It's bad enough when it's just biochemical. When it's stupid, stupid stuff that I should know better about that either energizes me or drop-kicks me, I can add "you bloody moron, how old are you?" to the joys of dejection.

I am on a downswing. It will end. But it might end because something stupid will cheer me up. And I will know it's stupid -- and dangerous, because it's ephemeral and will subsequently let me down -- but I will run with it anyway, just for the relief of feeling my spirits soaring and a tingling happiness, just for a little while.