One Note

Lately I've only been reading religion books, except for Beowulf at work. When people ask me what I'm reading, it's sometimes embarrassing to say, "Oh, the catechism, and a book about the Blessed Mother, and The Imitation of Christ, and another one about fulfilling your life's purpose through the wisdom of the saints, and then at night sometimes I crack open the huuuuuuuge Navarre New Testament with the massive commentary and read about one chapter."

It makes me sound a) like a complete religious nut and b) like I have one interest in life and that's it.

I'm so not a religious nut. I know some people think I am by virtue of the very fact that I go to Mass every week, but that is only a very basic obligation. I do all sorts of things that would not be in keeping with religious nuttiness -- or even with being a "good Catholic." Or sometimes even with being a "good person."

I do have other interests... I've been knitting (at the moment, a hat and a shawl; finished a cowl for a friend and am waiting on the proper size needle to come in the mail so I can improvise wristers in the same pattern); I've been cooking a bit again; jamming season is just about upon us. If I had the wherewithal, I'd travel a lot.

But in reading, it's generally religious in nature.

Sometimes it makes me laugh ruefully, as when I came across this in Kempis: "Sometimes God will leave you to your own devices, and sometimes your neighbor will irritate you; and what is worse, you will often be a trouble to your own self." (Italics mine.) So. Very. True. My "neighbors" irritate me every day of my life, except sometimes on weekends when I can choose whom to be around.

I am finding a lot in Imitation of Christ that seems harsh, that basically says, "Have no friends and enjoy nothing in this life." Of course he wasn't writing for your average layperson. In this instance St. Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life is much gentler and more practical. On the other hand, there are gems throughout Imitation like the one above. It's not Scripture, so I can take what is useful to my state in life and take with a grain of salt the things that do not apply.

Still, though, I am having a little bit of an internal struggle. I figure, I'm not in school and outside of work and financial obligations I can pretty much do as I please. (Work/money is a big exception, I realize, but does not extend to my reading material.) So if I want to be on a religion-book bender, who's to criticize? On the other hand, I find people who have only one interest to be unsettling, and I don't want to be that person.

Sort of like how consistently my biggest gripe is "I'm not a housewife." And my biggest wish is "to be a housewife." And how of all the people I might be jealous of, the ones I'd envy most would be housewives. Ad nauseum....