Recovering

The dinner party went all right. It wasn't up the standards of one of the guests, at whose fantabulous dinners I have been a guest several times. But my apartment is smaller and older, my kitchen is smaller and gives right onto the (smaller) table, and I'm waaaaay out of practice. At one point, deep in conversation, someone got up and got his own wine, which made me feel bad. But it all was edible (except I didn't take the brownies out of the fridge early enough -- if they're at room temp, the frosting is like a soft glaze, so I keep them in the fridge but should have removed them for a little bit so the brownie itself softened).

We discussed our new cathedral. I've not yet been inside but I passionately hate the outside, and everything I've seen of the interior so far makes me shudder. I think it's partially my belief that a church should look like a church, not an art gallery or office building or gym, and partially my reaction to growing up Protestant. One of the things I envied my Catholic friends, and one of the things I want as a Catholic, is churches that are glorious -- carvings and stained glass and statues, flying buttresses and arches and domes. (Even my parish church basically has all these things.) Anything that is remotely of the sleek-blonde-wood/Swedish-modern/understated-and-bare Protestant architectural ethos makes me want to run shrieking.

I've also had more than one person ask me, "That's not a Catholic church, is it?" I don't think the plain cross, not a crucifix, outside, or calling it "Christ the Light" helped with that either. Sigh.

However, I've been counselled to go and look at the interior at least once, so I can make up my mind in person and not just from pictures and the bizarre, Rollo-shaped exterior.

Me, opinionated? Nah.

I do realize that people who are perfectly happy with modern architecture, or show up to Mass in sweats, or whatever, are almost all (maybe all) much better people than I am. That keeps me from going completely off the rails in protest.

I've done most of the dishes this morning. I went to the 5 PM Mass yesterday so all I'd have to do today is dishes!

I find I need to psychologically unwind after highly social occasions. I'm a natural introvert -- very introverted -- and so I need to really amp myself up for things like this. Amping down later takes awhile. It was hard to get to sleep last night.

Definitely getting back on the healthy-eating bandwagon, starting right now. I'm sure I've gained back a few pounds, and so I will regroup. I'm trying to live in moderation, not going to one food extreme or the other. It's hard. But I think having eaten quite a bit yesterday has tamped down that overriding ravenous feeling of last week. I do believe I need more protein in my daily diet; most of the things I've been craving and that make me feel better are high in protein.

Or maybe I'm just looking for an excuse to eat cheese. ;-)

Later today I'll turn the heel of my sock... and then the damned gusset. I always need my Ott-Lite and a magnifying glass to pick up the gusset stitches, and I still always have holes. I'm hoping the fact that the heel and gusset are being knitted on such tiny needles will help with the hole issue. Although I just go in and basically darn the holes later and call it good.

Also trying to keep in mind what I was thinking a week ago. I don't want to lose those realizations and fall right back into my normal way of thinking, because that's always left me sad and bereft and... not doing anything.